Whisper (tentative title)
Um so, I don't know if we can post scripts here, but I see several people doing so, so I think I shall as well, since I have no art done yet. :>
I need to show someone as my creative writing group doesn't critique comic scripts.
Any ways here are the first three scripted pages of the 40+ pages I've written that aren't scripted yet. It really takes a while to rewrite things in graphic novel form, so much cutting of paragraphs and description!
Any-hoo, this is my (third?) graphic novel story, and I decided it would be a good one to try fleshing out in art form since the story was somewhat simpler than my others. I'm just wondering what people think, I know three pages isn't much, but the story itself is crazy formatted though readable if someone wants to read more.
I was thinking of starting a blog for it, but eh, I don't do blogs, so I wouldn't know where to start. So just pretend this is the real thing (yeah right huh?) and let me know if you would continue reading.
*I'm sure there's a better way to do this than one long annoying post, but alas, I'm not real savvy in that department, so bear with me* :<
Quote:
PAGE 1: [main characters introduced]
Panel 1, 2, & 3 (scrolling):
Bright sunny day, mid-summer. Crumbling Gothic church on a cliff, overlooking a river.
SOUND EFFECT [small lower case] > scratch scratch<
Panel 4:
Whisper, walking across hardwood floor, through empty window-lit hall. She’s looking down in thought.
SOUND EFFECT [ upper case] > scratch scratch<
Panel 5 (small close up of her face):
WHISPER: (looking annoyed): Bug off Casey. I don’t want to talk right now.
Panel 6:
Casey’s transparent figure wafts halfway through Whisper.
CASEY(pouting): Aww, come on, you’re always in a bad mood anymore. Can’t we at least have a little fun?
WHISPER: No. I have three bodies to find and no leads. So unless you know where three French tourists and a poodle are being held, I suggest you leave me alone.
Panel 7:
CASEY 2 (thinking): A poodle? Doesn’t that add up to four? I know I’ve been dead for a while but I can still count.
WHISPER (eye roll): Whatever. Unless you know something, butt out.
Panel 8 & 9 [two panel spread]:
Casey, looking despondent, sinks into the floor.
PAGE 2:
Panel 1:
Blue wisps of smoke vanishing underfoot,Whisper walks on, looking relieved.
Panel 2 &3 [long shot]:
The hall is old, walls falling in at some places, large ornate windows still mostly intact. Whispers figure rounds the corner at the end of the hall.
Panel 4:
She looks to a large wooden door to her immediate left. Old, weather-worn and cracking, it’s sealed with a metal bar across it and a padlock. There is a small barred peephole in the center.
Panel 5:
Rising up on her tiptoes, Whisper looks through the small peephole.
WHISPER: Wake up Chester. I need you.
Panel 6:
Inside the dark room, there is a figure sitting on the floor, his head slightly raised at the sound of her voice. Eyes glowing blue through the matted, unkempt, black hair covering his face.
Panel 7:
He moved towards the door into the small bit of light that it let shine in, walking much like a gorilla hunched over, using his knuckles and bare feet.
Panel 8 & 9 [9 in three parts]:
Whisper takes a key from one of her many pockets. Unlocks the door, lifts the bolt, then grabs the handle with both hands and heaves.
PAGE 3:
Panel 1-2:
The door open now, Whisper takes the talisman around her neck. She mutters a few words, and holds the talisman towards the doorway as it glows a fluorescent blue.
Panel 3:
An energy barrier becomes visible as it dissipates.
Panel 4:
Whisper tucked her talisman back into her jacket as Chester pokes a finger at the floor beyond where the barrier had been.
Panel 5:
Barrier gone, Chester bounds out of the small room, forcing Whisper to jump to the side to avoid being bowled over.
Panel 6:
Chester’s mad dive was brought to a halt as the chain around his neck reached its end and snapped him backwards.
SOUND EFFECT: >grunt<
WHISPER: *Sigh* Forgot about that again? When will you learn?
