Whisper (tentative title)
Um so, I don't know if we can post scripts here, but I see several people doing so, so I think I shall as well, since I have no art done yet. :>
I need to show someone as my creative writing group doesn't critique comic scripts.
Any ways here are the first three scripted pages of the 40+ pages I've written that aren't scripted yet. It really takes a while to rewrite things in graphic novel form, so much cutting of paragraphs and description!
Any-hoo, this is my (third?) graphic novel story, and I decided it would be a good one to try fleshing out in art form since the story was somewhat simpler than my others. I'm just wondering what people think, I know three pages isn't much, but the story itself is crazy formatted though readable if someone wants to read more.
I was thinking of starting a blog for it, but eh, I don't do blogs, so I wouldn't know where to start. So just pretend this is the real thing (yeah right huh?) and let me know if you would continue reading.
*I'm sure there's a better way to do this than one long annoying post, but alas, I'm not real savvy in that department, so bear with me* :<
PAGE 1: [main characters introduced]
Panel 1, 2, & 3 (scrolling):
Bright sunny day, mid-summer. Crumbling Gothic church on a cliff, overlooking a river.
SOUND EFFECT [small lower case] > scratch scratch<
Whisper, walking across hardwood floor, through empty window-lit hall. She’s looking down in thought.
SOUND EFFECT [ upper case] > scratch scratch<
Panel 5 (small close up of her face):
WHISPER: (looking annoyed): Bug off Casey. I don’t want to talk right now.
Casey’s transparent figure wafts halfway through Whisper.
CASEY(pouting): Aww, come on, you’re always in a bad mood anymore. Can’t we at least have a little fun?
WHISPER: No. I have three bodies to find and no leads. So unless you know where three French tourists and a poodle are being held, I suggest you leave me alone.
CASEY 2 (thinking): A poodle? Doesn’t that add up to four? I know I’ve been dead for a while but I can still count.
WHISPER (eye roll): Whatever. Unless you know something, butt out.
Panel 8 & 9 [two panel spread]:
Casey, looking despondent, sinks into the floor.
Blue wisps of smoke vanishing underfoot,Whisper walks on, looking relieved.
Panel 2 &3 [long shot]:
The hall is old, walls falling in at some places, large ornate windows still mostly intact. Whispers figure rounds the corner at the end of the hall.
She looks to a large wooden door to her immediate left. Old, weather-worn and cracking, it’s sealed with a metal bar across it and a padlock. There is a small barred peephole in the center.
Rising up on her tiptoes, Whisper looks through the small peephole.
WHISPER: Wake up Chester. I need you.
Inside the dark room, there is a figure sitting on the floor, his head slightly raised at the sound of her voice. Eyes glowing blue through the matted, unkempt, black hair covering his face.
He moved towards the door into the small bit of light that it let shine in, walking much like a gorilla hunched over, using his knuckles and bare feet.
Panel 8 & 9 [9 in three parts]:
Whisper takes a key from one of her many pockets. Unlocks the door, lifts the bolt, then grabs the handle with both hands and heaves.
The door open now, Whisper takes the talisman around her neck. She mutters a few words, and holds the talisman towards the doorway as it glows a fluorescent blue.
An energy barrier becomes visible as it dissipates.
Whisper tucked her talisman back into her jacket as Chester pokes a finger at the floor beyond where the barrier had been.
Barrier gone, Chester bounds out of the small room, forcing Whisper to jump to the side to avoid being bowled over.
Chester’s mad dive was brought to a halt as the chain around his neck reached its end and snapped him backwards.
SOUND EFFECT: >grunt<
WHISPER: *Sigh* Forgot about that again? When will you learn?